K.I.D.S.

"I can endure more pain than most people, that's why I'm better."
- Prefontaine.

I wish I was strong enough to send you this Matthew.

When I was younger, I made a checklist for The Perfect Boyfriend. I strayed so far away from it after awhile because I wasn’t respected and I didn’t feel good enough for anyone. I then just focused on me. Getting my life straight. About a month ago, I told myself I was ready to find that one that fit my checklist and wanted to settle down with them. I wasn’t expecting to meet you. You filled out the checklist 99% correct. The other 1% is me; how we meshed and how we clicked. 100%. I want to talk like best friends, protect like family, and love like it’s our last time to love. I have walls to see if someone’s really worth it. Why are you worth it? Despite my bullshit, you stayed. I fell in love for the first and last time. It’s a damn scary thing and I absolutely love every second of it. I want to experience new and crazy things with you. Thick and thin, I will fight. I will support you every step of the way. I don’t deserve you. I know that. I’m not good enough for what you have to offer me or any woman. But I sure would go through hell and back every minute of everyday to be blessed to call you my man. My heart and head have and will think about you everyday. I care deeply about you. I always will. I can’t eat, sleep, or think without you in my life. My chest literally hurts. I will do anything for you because that’s part of loving someone. I trust you. I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice. When you first put your hands on my stomach and told me that you wanted to put babies in me, I looked into your eyes and completely fell. I knew you were the one. I can’t see myself with any other man. I don’t want any other man. I want you. Never have I boasted about a man, was proud to be with him, put him as my phone background or on social media sites, or put “My Love” as their name in my phone until you. You broke my rules and walls. Am I crazy? Yes. Not psycho crazy. Just crazy about you. You are literally all I think about. I could careless about your wealth. I’m proud of you for working so damn hard to get there. I’m focused on you. The two times we made love were hands down the best moments of my life. No, I don’t want you for sex. I want to get to know you inside and out, grow with you, have a family with you, and work damn hard to make sure we are wonderful together. Yes, we were moving fast, but I know what we’re doing is right. And if you grant me the blessing to stay with you, I’ll prove to you that I’m the woman you need. I want to be everything you want me to be. I don’t expect you to feel the same way or even close to it, but I’ll always feel this way. Love doesn’t just go away over night. I don’t expect a reply. I want you to see my thoughts in texts instead of crying gibberish.

Will run for chocolate…or food…or beer ๐Ÿ’ช #keepcalmrunon #5k #hotchocolate5k #sandiego #fitness #chocolate #running #selfie

Will run for chocolate…or food…or beer ๐Ÿ’ช #keepcalmrunon #5k #hotchocolate5k #sandiego #fitness #chocolate #running #selfie

Met so many wonderful people last night and a super gorgeous blonde in a @troyleedesigns shirt ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜˜ #TheBrandinIron #SanBernardino #Mason #Country #Club #Dancing #beer #NewFriends #RodeTheMechanicalBullLikeAChamp ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ†

Met so many wonderful people last night and a super gorgeous blonde in a @troyleedesigns shirt ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜˜ #TheBrandinIron #SanBernardino #Mason #Country #Club #Dancing #beer #NewFriends #RodeTheMechanicalBullLikeAChamp ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ†

12th day without makeup #selfie love it! #armaarmy #armaenergy #workgrind selfie kind of day. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’›

@g_eazy @superduperkyle last night at #Soma #turntup with @toribearxo #sandiego #frontrow #wenthard #lookedlikeKeshathrewuponme

Made my night!!!! #datingsites #okcupid #sonice #radical #awesome

Made my night!!!! #datingsites #okcupid #sonice #radical #awesome

Finally saw my babes๐Ÿ‘ฏ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿน๐Ÿ˜˜ #newfriends #ratedx #orangecounty #bikinis  @toribearxo @mackenziebbrooke

Finally saw my babes๐Ÿ‘ฏ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿน๐Ÿ˜˜ #newfriends #ratedx #orangecounty #bikinis @toribearxo @mackenziebbrooke

Still can’t believe how amazing the  @hollywoodbma was! Huge thank you to @goldielocks2010 She is so talented! #hollywoodbma #hollywood #model #gorgeousmen #judges #dancinguponme

Still can’t believe how amazing the @hollywoodbma was! Huge thank you to @goldielocks2010 She is so talented! #hollywoodbma #hollywood #model #gorgeousmen #judges #dancinguponme

Headed to the Beauty Makers Awards in Hollywood with my artist and amazing friend @goldielocks2010 ๐Ÿ‘ฏโค๏ธ #BMA #hollywood #model

Headed to the Beauty Makers Awards in Hollywood with my artist and amazing friend @goldielocks2010 ๐Ÿ‘ฏโค๏ธ #BMA #hollywood #model

frilllyknickers:

colorsoftheswim:

fuckyeahwomenprotesting2:

I like how correcting her kids creepy behavior doesnโ€™t even matter to that mother.

This actually makes me very angry. It basically highlights everything wrong with the world. Instead of teaching boys not to look at women like that, women are taught not to dress provocatively so boys donโ€™t get โ€œdistractedโ€. It makes me sick.ย 

Reblogging cause that comment ^^^^^

(Source: thelostie, via itsthelesbiana)